Inspiration for the Uninspired

Enough of this depressing bulsh, I think it's time for another deep thought by Jack Handey. I still haven't come up with a good one on my own, and I thought it would be easy!

"I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit in the head and it damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain."

thoughts

How is it possible that people can get so screwed up that they stop seeing, they stop seeking, they stop believing there is relief, much less hope, much less joy?

To me, my whole life, even when I was half dreaming half awake I always knew there was something better. I always knew there was something beautiful that existed, even when I couldn’t see it. Something simple, like a sunset, or the smell of jasmine on the wind would remind me. Nature always speaks the truth.

How does someone stay in an abusive relationship for years upon years upon years and convince themselves that’s their obligation to god? What kind of god wants someone to live in constant fear? How do you tell this person that there’s another way? That they don’t have to suffer to be good? And what kind of fu**ed up culture creates thousands, maybe million, of people who believe exactly that same way?

Well not me.

But I can’t share if you won’t listen.

And you can’t learn if you don’t hear.

But eventually the burden will be too great to bear.

And that is a good thing.

The day you can’t keep your eyes shut any longer.
I hope I'm there to see it and Celebrate!

Ant on an Apple, Part II

Rushing & Worrying is completely pointless, I realized clearly tonight, because there's nowhere to be but here. So take your time and enjoy it, make the best out of it, expect the best out of it. Trust yourself and the thing you're in. It couldn't hurt just to try it, right? See if it works?

And might as well enjoy it cause this is the only moment exactly like this one. Enjoy who you are, what you've learned, what you dreamed so far; and enjoy the one's you're with, the ones you taught, the ones you learned from, even if you hated them at the time.

I talked with my favorite auntie on the phone over the weekend. She sent me a condolence card about gpa passing and honestly it made me feel more emotion than I did when hearing gpa died. Maybe something's wrong with me or maybe I really don't believe in death anymore or maybe it just feels much better to feel the love from my aunt.

We talked about the economic situation, I mean I guess that's what all republicans and probably most democrats are talking about right now. I suppose it's hard not to worry as you watch your retirement slip away. Maybe I've lived without healthcare (insurance) too long, I'm used to the risk. I live on the edge. :) But I also think that although things are crazy fubared at the moment, I really believe things are gonna be okay, maybe better than okay, maybe really great - a place with clean air and calorie-less Twinkies made out of spelt. I guess it couldn't hurt to hope.

Magical Car

Everything will be just fine once you learn to enjoy the ride!

Ant on an Apple

Do you ever just stop and contemplate the fact that we're standing on a rock spinning a 1,000 miles per hour and revolving around a burning star at about (or so I read) 67,000 miles per hour, and we can't even feel it? That's what it must be like to be an ant on an apple. In those moments, just for a flash, sometimes I think you can. And not necessarily on mushrooms or vicodin. (that's just an off-color joke for any Christian Conservative reading my blog, I mean dad) :) luv ya!

Sad Bears

Ran across this photo tonight and felt compelled to post it. It's been a strange week or so... actually a strange new year altogether. My cousin, who is more like a sister to me, almost bleed to death in the process of delivering her baby. After much stress and drama and FUBARity on the part of the hospital, she and baby Lukas are now fine and recuperating. My Gpa passed away last week. I was actually at peace with that; it was my estranged father calling me and leaving this bizarre message that freaked me out. Not bad, it was sweet actually, just totally and completely unexpected. I reacted from a place of fear about him coming back into my life and hurting me again. Took me about a week to regain my footing and look at it from a different perspective. I had to realize that I am not the same vulnerable little girl. I am a strong woman and nobody can hurt me unless I allow it. Why is parent stuff so complicated?! I know, I know.. they are our first Gods, bigger than Zeus and Poseidon. Anyway, I'm feeling much more open and compassionate towards him but I also have to be very aware of my boundaries. Ain't nobody gonna mess w/ this Biatch! :)

Surprisingly I've been handling everything really pretty well. I've been listening to a cd by Ester and Jerry Hicks on the "Astonishing Power of Emotions" and I have to say it's been helping a lot. Every time I start to feel stressed or negative I just "pick up my oars" and stop fighting to get upstream. As they say, everything we want is always downstream. If you're feeling anything that isn't good, then you're moving against your own natural flow. So why do we always struggle to go against the current? Habit, I guess. I don't know about you, but life is too precious to fill it with any kind of angst.

One of the recent highlights was meeting the man who I think is going to play Ekstasis in my upcoming play & film, Ekstasis. His name is Ukwanni and he embodies Ekstasis in a way I had never imagined. That's the beauty of the creative force - it brings you that which you didn't even realize you needed.

The Semi-Finalists Voting for Blog4Reel is going strong! And I'm super excited to see we're getting new bloggers (and I have no idea where they're coming from, which is great). Great things ahead!

Sleep well, sad bears.