Ran across this photo tonight and felt compelled to post it. It's been a strange week or so... actually a strange new year altogether. My cousin, who is more like a sister to me, almost bleed to death in the process of delivering her baby. After much stress and drama and FUBARity on the part of the hospital, she and baby Lukas are now fine and recuperating. My Gpa passed away last week. I was actually at peace with that; it was my estranged father calling me and leaving this bizarre message that freaked me out. Not bad, it was sweet actually, just totally and completely unexpected. I reacted from a place of fear about him coming back into my life and hurting me again. Took me about a week to regain my footing and look at it from a different perspective. I had to realize that I am not the same vulnerable little girl. I am a strong woman and nobody can hurt me unless I allow it. Why is parent stuff so complicated?! I know, I know.. they are our first Gods, bigger than Zeus and Poseidon. Anyway, I'm feeling much more open and compassionate towards him but I also have to be very aware of my boundaries. Ain't nobody gonna mess w/ this Biatch! :)
Surprisingly I've been handling everything really pretty well. I've been listening to a cd by Ester and Jerry Hicks on the "Astonishing Power of Emotions" and I have to say it's been helping a lot. Every time I start to feel stressed or negative I just "pick up my oars" and stop fighting to get upstream. As they say, everything we want is always downstream. If you're feeling anything that isn't good, then you're moving against your own natural flow. So why do we always struggle to go against the current? Habit, I guess. I don't know about you, but life is too precious to fill it with any kind of angst.
One of the recent highlights was meeting the man who I think is going to play Ekstasis in my upcoming play & film, Ekstasis. His name is Ukwanni and he embodies Ekstasis in a way I had never imagined. That's the beauty of the creative force - it brings you that which you didn't even realize you needed.
The Semi-Finalists Voting for Blog4Reel is going strong! And I'm super excited to see we're getting new bloggers (and I have no idea where they're coming from, which is great). Great things ahead!
Sleep well, sad bears.
1 comment:
Kimberley there is no upstream, never has been. Time and life continually flow to the places we need to get to it is in not being able to see or accept our destination where the fight for control happens.
Whatever is past is unchangeable but reversible with forgiveness. Forgiveness of both offender and offended, then the rocks within the Dharma are removed and the journey takes on tranquility no matter the pace of the rivers course.
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