It's been an interesting week for me... I'm guessing the universe wanted me to get some practice making a fool of myself in public since it happened twice this week! The nature of launching a business like Blog4Reel and Vlog4Reel that requires the interest of the public at large means not only do I have to put what I'm doing out there but myself as well. Yay.
Although many moons ago in H.S. I enjoyed drama very much and was even pretty decent, if I do say so myself, I found a more comfortable fit for myself writing, producing... always behind the scenes. A lot of people think writers are trolls. Not true. We just wish we were. If I had my own bridge with a computer and a nice little fire pit, I'd be a happy camper.
Well no more! No, I must stand in the glaring sun of other people's judgment, criticism, and if I'm lucky some small manner of admiration or at least appreciation. This week I was asked to sit on a panel for the San Antonio Film Commission. I was very honored to do so, of course. The problem was there seems to have been a miscommunication between the Commission and the Host - who kept asking me questions about Blog4Reel that really weren't relevant to the Topic: Promoting your film locally. I came prepared to talk about my short film we premiered last year, The Theory of Everything. I got so discombobulated that at the end when she asked me where people could find my movie, I couldn't even remember to tell them it's on Vlog4Reel. It's on Vlog4Reel, dammit! I mentioned my MySpace page and then couldn't even remember the URL for it.. granted for Blog4Reel I have about 100 such pages.. I have URL's & passwords coming out my arse, as the Scottish so eloquently put it. Regardless, it was embarrassing. I felt my face flush red and wished I could twinkle my nose and vanish into thin air but alas... The one uplifting moment was when this little girl who'd been dragged there by her actor father said that I was "the most interesting one out of all of them." She was sweet and sincere and as my friend said later, Kids don't lie.
Then last night I went to go check out Jade at his Open Mic night at Sam's Spot in San Antone and he called me up in front of the crowd to talk about my film and Blog4Reel. Granted it was a small crowd but I could feel my nerves buzzing as I stood there in front of the hot white lights covered in my chihuahua's hair (which gets everywhere). I was not prepared. And maybe that's ok. The world did not come to a crashing end, I did not die and nobody pointed a finger and laughed. I've been listening, in my car, to this really cool zen artist Alan Watts. He talked about the art of spontenaity and maybe that's what I'm supposed to be getting out of this.. to enjoy such things, go with the flow, be in the moment, blah blah... but I am a novice spontenaitor and therefore fell on my face. Hopefully next time I'll do better. Hopefully. Either way, you'll be sure to find out!
If you wanna hear the infamous panel discussion, check out the podcast on the San Antonio's Film Commission site (it's the July panel discussion) -
http://safilmforum.blogspot.com/2007/08/now-on-splashcast.html
If you'd like to see me looking flustered and also see some pretty funny stuff from Jade and others, I'll put up a link once the video's posted.
Hope y'all have a beautiful weekend. We plan to see Batman, finally. Have you seen it? Did you love it? Also taping an episode of ProSpectives for our Vlog4Reel Channel. Should be fun to be with my peeps again! We're gonna get crazy, ya know, with Brunch on Sunday!