Back to Basics

So I've decided to get back to the grassroots of blog4reel... enough of chasing celebrities and glossy mags. I realized I was spreading myself too thin lately, which is not easy to do when you're a chubby chick. What's important here are the blogs and the stories... the rest will come, as Kevin Costner knew before his career 'danced w/ sharks'. I don't know if that makes sense or if it's funny. Chalk it up to verbal experimentation.

To be honest, it's a relief. I think I've been so focused on the need for success that I've been stressing myself out about everything. Not only am I not having fun, I'm getting in my own way of attracting what I want because I'm surrounded by a big ball of negativity (i.e. stress). I noticed the other day how angry I was when I cussed out the slow-going, blue-haired driver in front of me in a string of expletives that would have embarrassed, um, someone who cusses a whole hell of a lot. Can't think of anyone at the moment. Was going to say Hitler - but although he was a genocidal killer, he may have had lovely manners. Who knows.

So obviously I was projecting and have some pent up emotion so my goal right now is to do everything with ease and joy... no matter what it is. And you know, it's really silly to get worked up about anything... when ultimately who we are in the now is ok, is loved and lovable, and worthy and all that, no matter what we do or don't do in our lives. We're the one's judging and comparing ourselves. If we all stopped doing it, maybe others would too, so I'm getting off the wheel. Americans are crazy. We are. Achieve and Acquire, that's all we care about. Well I'm over it. And the first step to changing that is admitting it! So what next? Find bloggers. And then I'm taking a page from my gamer bf's book and going home and Raiding some Tombs as every man/woman's fantasy, Lara Croft.

I realized I forgot to mention the wonderful person I met last week at the Adalente Film Forum in San Antonio - Chachi Senior with City Lights Media Group. He's a super clever individual with a lot of experience in web development. He took a liking to Blog4Reel and offered to help out if he could. Who knows where it will lead but he was a pleasure to talk to. It made me hyper-aware of what I'm missing out on in San Antonio. I love this city but let's face it.. those of you who live here know what I'm talking about.. when it comes to being serious about film, SA is not the place to be, but still.. I have hope! On a side note, I pitched my brilliant new vampire script premise to him and he seemed to quite like it. I still can't believe I told him! You'll understand what I mean by that someday.