I Suck

Evidently I couldn't make it to day 3 of my blogging experiment. But as they say, you stumble, fall, land face first in the mud and then you pick yourself up again and move on. Perseverance is key. I believe that. In fact, sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going - knowing that eventually you will achieve your dreams if you never give up on them... it might take a while.. you may look like George Burns when it's all said and done but eventually IT WILL HAPPEN.

So onto the $$Prosperity Game, Day 2 - 3,000$$

$1,500 - 52 inch HDTV - for the bf, cause that's all I've been hearing about lately!
$1,500 - Armoire - Something for me!

Today in my BLOG4REEL world - we're picking out colors for the new addition to the site and it is harder than it looks! We've gone from something that looks like a circus to a baby Shower! As you can tell by my blog I am color-challenged! Ugh. But I'm sure we'll get there....

Because I'm Kooky!

So Experiment #2 I'm getting directly from the pages of the book, Ask & It Is Given - it's a book based on the law of attraction and GD I am going to give it an honest go! One of the "Games" it has for greasing that squeaky wheel is called the Prosperity Game.

Basically you get an "imagined" $1,000 a day. So by day 30, you get $30,000. The goal is to "spend" the money anyway you like each day and focus on what it is you really want (as opposed to what you don't want). The idea is by focusing on these things you will shift your energy about money and receiving. I'm going to do it for a month. And since you can play it anyway you like really I've decided to triple my money every day. You can write checks out for what you want - real or created - but I'm just going to keep a log on here. Let's see what happens! (I bet Oprah tried it!)

$$PROSPERITY GAME - Day #1 ($1,000)$$

$500 - Mic for my Camera & tripod
$60 - gorgeous black patent (yes, patent)leather & silver sandals I found
$200 - give to my friend to help out
$100 - have Roxy (my dog's) teeth cleaned
$140 - take my friends out for some grub - probably for seafood since we've been craving shrimpies.

As an aside - funniest phrase I heard today on LOST - "Time Traveling Bunnies" Yes!

The Curse of the Lemon Wedge

I was told today (don't ask me by who) about the Lemon Curse. Rachel Ray may have a different recipe, but basically you do the following:

- Find (steal) hair(s) from the one you despise
- Cut a lemon but not all the way through
- Insert hair
- Seal shut lemon with nails - nine I think it was.
- Make sure the lemon sits close to the one you loathe - evidently sending out its waves of malevolent intent.

Within seven days or so something terrible should befall your nemesis! How crazy is that?! I love it! If I didn't believe in Karma there's a few people I might actually consider trying this out on! :)

Day 2 RANT

Didn't think I'd make it, did you? Thought I'd forget to blog today, huh? Well you were wrong! Wrong, I say. hahahahahaha!!!!!!!! (maniacal laughter). Sorry but it's been a rough week and I'm a little, yes just a little, edgy.

I realize part of my problem with this blog is that it is connected to a business, so I've been waring with myself over the reality of who I am vs. the reality of who I need to be in the business world which is currently largely defined by large corporations - by their business culture - which is then filtered on down like fashion from NY runways to Walmart. Walmart's where we're at in this country, Walmart's and Exxons and frankly I would shoot myself before I'd work at either of those companies. I don't shop at them because I don't like them or respect them. I think you know why. If you don't - check these out:

http://www.longviewinstitute.org/projects/moral/walmart
http://walmartwatch.com/press/releases/wal_mart_china_cozy_multi_billion_dollar_bedfellows/
http://washouts.blogspot.com/2007/07/wal-mart-is-bad-for-america.html
http://www.alternet.org/environment/23528

Point is I feel as an owner of a company, even if it is one as small as blog4reel, I'm required to be polite, objective, and Rated G, even though I quite enjoy cussing like a dirty pirate. (Let me know what you think by voting at the top of this page on "To Cuss or Not to Cuss.") I was raised in that culture - white bread middle-class ethics. I guess I think it's right cause that's all I've known. But that's never been who I really am. I've been struggling a lot lately over who I am in my life in general. I know I don't always live the way I most would like to be. Just like most of us I guess, I have my insecurities. We all have a desire to be accepted but I think we are all driven to be the amazing unique individuals we are as well and finding the balance between them is quite a challenge.

But I fully realize and embraced today that it's my choice. Just like everything in life is a choice even when it doesn't feel that way. Even if you don't believe the circumstance you are in was created (at least in part) by you, you must concede that you are 100% responsible for your reaction to any particular situation.

I am ready to change, to make conscious choices in my life, to be more who I want to be. The irony is if i don't I'm gonna end up a hypocrite just like my father - not practicing what I preach. If I believe in the power of NOW, the Law of Attraction, the oneness, the wholeness, the connection between every living being, every creature, every tree, even those crazy raspberry ants that have been all over the news lately. If I believe in our eternalness, if I believe that religion and science are two sides of the same coin and those two sides are idiots for not recognizing that already because it's so obvious that somewhere in between what both of them believe is a commonality. It's clear to me and to my closest friends but it seems the general public is steeped in chaos, fear and separation. All of it feels fake, like it's made of plastic, plastic that sits in the belly of an albatross (that beautiful endangered animal) slowly decomposing over centuries of time.

If I don't start living & practicing what I preach, saying what I believe, then I am already that albatross....

At the end of the day all we can do is love and forgive ourselves and others - all of them. Yes, every single last one. Even the guy who just cut your arse off in traffic.

NOTE: The views of this blog do NOT express the views of Blog4Reel.com. (See, I'm being professional!)

This is AWESOME!

Old Musings

Going through some papers the other day I found the beginnings of a poem and I kinda like it...

What good is a dream
if u can't make it real
Why should I touch u
if you can't really feel.

If there is a point
I'm waiting to find it
the eye of a needle
with a camel behind it.

I'd like to give up
on this crumbling world
but there's something inside
that just won't let go.

What can I tell you
when I don't have the words?
Besides, it's something you already know.

Days of Experimentation to come...

Well I'm not in college anymore but I've been feeling a yen for some experimentation lately. There's no telling where this could lead, if anywhere, but I will attempt to start out slowly...

My first experiement will involve discipline in blog writing. I'm on everyone's ass all the time about consistantly blogging and I guess that's pretty hypocritical if I'm not doing the same.

There's so many things rolling around in my head at the moment - like marbles with no place to settle. So many things to blog about. I think I'll make a short list and then elaborate later.

1. Blog4Reel is getting ready to amp it up. We're soon launching a new part of the site - I can't say what yet - but it will be exciting. I've still been talking with the awesome Producer for the CNN show, News to Me (check it out - it airs on the weekends) so we're working hard to get it up before the interview. I'm a little overwhelmed with all the things that need to be done. Even though I started out (in college again) wanting to be in the advertising/marketing field, once I realized it wasn't just sitting around and coming up with jingles and logos and fun stuff, I moved on. Being that we are all bombarded with what is it like 10,000 mothaflippin' advertisements on a daily basis it's easy to become skeptical. I mean what good does do? Well I'll tell you. Without it, no one knows what the hell you are or what the hell you do. I love my bloggers but we need more! We need more good stories to sift through. We are really on a mission to find that untold story but we can't do it if you don't know about us....

2. Airlines Suck. I wish I could just say there's just one you need to stay away from, but on our recent trip to Chicago we were shuffled around to 4 different airlines and all of them sucked! Northwest, American, Midwest & especially United! I'll write out the story later and I promise you you'll never check your luggage again! Or at least I know I won't.

3. My co-worker of 8 years got canned yesterday. Bad sitch. Really. And I miss him.

4. It's hot in S.A.! But the Spurs still Rock even if they're getting their asses kicked by the Lakers.

5. Um, Judges.

6. Now I'm just wanting to keep my list going cause I'm neurotic like that and I love lists.....

7. Whoever is reading this, if anyone, thank you. :)

That's it for now.. I have a meeting in 10 mins!

Chicago Pic

Remarkable Lamark!

I just finished a book by Alex Rose called The Musical Illusionist. The book is written as if fact and I'm now wondering if those he wrote about really existed or not. I googled them and came up with nothing so far. This doesn't necessarily mean anything. I'll look more later. I wanted to share some snippets from the story about Phelix Lamark who was supposedly an inventor who was fascinated with so many things and saw the unity in all.

While artists and scientist become more and more devisive - seperating themselves from each other, Lamark "sought the very opposite, a synthesis of disciplines.

"Specialization can only lead to further specialization and to what end? Human endeavors will become as fractured as the stars, isolated and scattered, with no constellation to hold them in place. Innovation without cross-pollination is an absurdity; without integrated research there can be no breadth of imagination." He sites the Fall of Rome as one example - it met its fate not by falling siege to outsiders, but by slowly fragmenting from the inside.

"It is coming to light that all the imponderables - heat, electricity, magnetism - are manifestations of the same force. This insight would not have been possible without a groundwork of common principles. It is conceivable that many other fundamental energies, such as gravity and impetus, may too prove to be properties linked by an ecumenical potential, as Aristotle foresaw. The infinite divisions we have erected in our quest for knowledge are but false categories obstructing the true nature of that which is."

I love that! It makes so much sense to me. Nothing in nature can be extracted and studied without consideration to all that surrounds and influences it. To try to do so is myopic. What do you think? Whether Lamark is real or just a figment of Rose's imagination the seed of such an idea is brilliant and pervades life itself. Everything is connected. To not realize this is not only ignorant, it is sad.

That being said - just know that somehow somewhere, Blog4Reel affects your life! :) See I can always bring it back around.........!

cheers!

Genius, Moi?

It's nice when you can legitimately compare yourself to a genius... especially one you greatly admire.

I read in the news today about a letter written by Albert Einstein, which sold for $404,000 at a London Auction.

What was this very expensive letter about? Einstein's distaste for religion, in fact.

"The letter was written to philosopher Eric Gutkind in January 1954, a year before Einstein's death. In it, the Einstein said that "the word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."

Einstein experts say the letter supports the argument that the physicist held complex, agnostic views on religion. He rejected organized faith but often spoke of a spiritual force at work in the universe." (AP World News)

The cool thing is if I were to attempt to describe my own beliefs regarding religion I would pretty much say the same thing.

For those who know me it's no surprise I feel a connection to Einstein... he pretty much inspired my short film, The Theory of Everything.

In it I wrote (in the text at the beginning of the film):

"Einstein spent his life in search of one grand unifying principle. Many quantum physicists now believe that String Theory, sometimes referred to as the Theory of Everything is the fundamental feature upon which the universe is constructed. That everything is only a result of microscopic reactions between particles which are nothing more than vibrating strings may seem bleak and impersonal until you ask yourself this: What is the force behind these strings? What drives them to create…?"

(At the end of the film):

"Perhaps the quintessential truth that Einstein sought and possibly knew all along is simply a divinity found within each sentient being. After all, he proved that mass and energy are different forms of the same thing. All thought and emotion are energy; therefore every smile, every tear, every laugh - whether bitter or sweet – define not only us, they define our universe."

Maybe someday someone will sell my film at auction for hundreds of thousands of dollars. You never know. Or it will perish without thought after I'm gone. Doesn't matter really cause I'll be sipping a capp. with Einstein on a floating Eiffel Tower in some alternate universe discussing our thoughts on theology.

Stranger things...

JackRabbit Cafe - Member Video!

MAJESTIC

MONKEY LOVE!

Back in Blog

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I've last blogged. I am a bad blogger. bad. I should be spanked and I'm sure I will be. later. by my boyfriend. just kidding.

No but seriously it's been a crazy busy past few weeks and I have come out of it frazzled and worn-out and mayhaps reborn. I'm exaggerating a little but you get the point. Mainly, I've just been dealing with the usual ups and downs of starting any new project. One minute I'm flying high........... and the next I'm CRASHING into the tundra of my own annihilation. It's not fun.

Although I have to thank the universe for little signs of encouragement - like today I was super stressed because I thought the site was down. I was on hold with my server company - Gate.com - for over an hour. When I finally talk to somebody I find out that it's just me, well, my computer to be exact. She walked me through deleting my temporary internet files and while we were waiting, she was checking out the site, Blog4Reel of course, and asking me questions about it. She loved it and was super enthusiastic, which is just not something you get from Tech Support. I said at one point, "well we're new so it's hard to get it out there with such a small marketing budget." And she said, "Yeah, but it's such a big idea. You're leveling the playing field for people (who want to get into film)." So essentially it's bound to happen is what she finished with in so many words. It was a good boost - one I surely needed today.

We're still having issues with some people being confused with how to link their blog (Please let me know if you have any suggestions!) and one of our members is still getting this mysterious error that's prohibiting her from voting, but Tony (our web guy) can't reproduce the problem so I don't know what the hell is going on there.

I have so much more to write but it's getting to be midnight.. and I want to post a few things from the Chicago trip I just got back from... Enjoy!