Washington in Texas

Is it just me or is anyone else having trouble being productive the past few days? Probably doesn't help that it's gray, foggy, cold - a typical Longview WA day.... only I'm in Texas. I can usually handle one or two days but after that I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, like a hibernating bear.

I did however manage to finish the script last week. Yay, me! It's a rough but so far the feedback's been good, even though it looks like we'll be tweaking it quite a bit.

Also sent out the press release finally, announcing Christopher Lawrence, the national award winning tv critic for the Las Vegas Review Journal, as our newest Blog4Reel judge. He's a super cool cat and we're lucky to have him on board. Check out his column, if you get a chance.. good tv recommends if you like tv and even if you don't, they're totally entertaining:

http://www.lvrj.com/columnists/Christopher_Lawrence.html

Christmas shopping = done. Well, mostly. I have maybe one, maybe two, more things to get and then I have to make the dreaded stop at the post office. Boo.

So, because I'm crazy I guess, I've decided I'm going to put on a play. Although I haven't had anything to do with theatre since H.S. drama, I think one of my film scripts, Ekstasis, will translate very nicely onto the stage. I've already started posting for a casting call.

If you want to see a cool little music video/experimental film by some amazing artists I know, check this out:

http://www.vimeo.com/2542236

Um, well... that's all.. time to go roll up in a ball and go to sleep.

Merry Christmas to all and to all Bloggers a goodnight!

Blog4Reel and I love you!

December

Usually the holidays are crazy psychotically busy but this year, not for me. The past several months have been insane with shoots and parties and promotions all centered around blog4reel/vlog4reel and now, even with the holidays, I feel like I'm just sort of coasting along a calm cool breeze. Kind of nice, really. I mean I'm usually one for frenetic energy, but I'm very much appreciating a break from it all. I'm even enjoying the holidays for a change. Thanksgiving was a lot of fun - of course Olympian-like Scattergories battles till 2 in the morning are awesome and the fam seemed in good spirits, except for Gma who was up to her usual antics of driving everyone bizonkers. Even the poor unfortunate neighbor-girl who came by to borrow a potato masher got stuck listening to Gma's 30-minute diatribe on her recent hospital visit and the "streaks of pain" which she no-doubt segwayed into her "vomiting fountains of blood" story about when she had an anyurisym burst several decades ago. Gma likes to reminisce about the good times. :)

We're still having some technical issues with the site, but I think they're being worked out. God, I wish I understood how to program but at the same time I don't. I'd be a whole other human if I did, I suppose. I guess I'm thankful I have more of a creative than a technical mind but still it would be useful.

I guess I really don't have much to blog about which I know is kind of lame. I'm excited to see some new bloggers on the site! It's fun to check 'em out and see what they're all about. We're still looking to add some new features on the site but may not be done until next "season". We'll have to wait and see.

I am really enjoying working on the terrorist script though. Writing is always such an interesting experience because no matter how much preparation I do on a story or character, they always take me to places I wouldn't expect. It's like meeting a new friend and getting to know them, it's just a lot of fun.

Well that's it for my boring post....

Hope you're enjoying the season!

Let Them Sleep. . .

"Those who don't feel this Love pulling
them like a river, those who don't drink dawn like a cup of spring water or take
in sunset like a supper, those who don't want to change, let them sleep."

- Rumi.

Muslim FBI Guy

So I think I mentioned in a previous post that I've been asked to help write a script about a suicide bomber. So Joe set up a meeting with some undercover FBI Agents. So cool; Way cool. I mean the thing that I love about writing, well, I think Anais Nin said it best, "we write to taste life twice." Putting yourself into a character, real or imagined, that is so very different from you and your own experiences is quite a thrill, it's my on personal duby.

So we met with these guys last week. I won't mention any names, of course, but one of them is the first Muslim FBI Undercover Agent and what an amazing man. I mean you wouldn't pick him out of a crowd as being anything unique or unusual or dangerous - being that he was an average-looking, middle-aged man with the requisite ponch, but talking to him was like being hypnotized or sucked into some kind of Muslim vortex. He was fascinating, with his dark intense eyes and melodic accent. We talked for maybe three hours about the history of Islam and terrorist motivations and of course political tangents. In fact, they told us the gov't did find WMD's in Iraq. Really? Evidently it's not widely known because of the liberal (god bless them) press. We talked about Bush's real motivation for going to war - revenge against Saddam for his assassination attempt on Papa Bush when he was in Kuwait. What?! I wasn't much into politics back then so I didn't know about the incident but I've heard a lot of speculation about Bush Jr.'s motivation for going to war and I've never heard that.

To top it off, I didn't know that Muslims actually believe in J.C. - although instead of believing he's the son of god, they believe he's just another prophet like their own, Muhammad. "Peace Be Upon Him," our informant said. Interesting. I did not know that, of course, I really knew very little about their religion. I tried to take religious studies in college but it was full... so I got stuck in Black Studies, which wasn't a bad thing... that's where I met my pillaresque basketball buddies - Iceman (because he's cold as ice. yes, he actually said this) and ... I can't remember the other one's name... oh wait, Kemo. And I did have a friend from Oman in college but we never talked about religion.

Anyway, it was an eye-opener, the entire experience. The script is going to be exponentially better because of their contribution. Thanks FBI Guys! You have served your country well!

Back to Basics

So I've decided to get back to the grassroots of blog4reel... enough of chasing celebrities and glossy mags. I realized I was spreading myself too thin lately, which is not easy to do when you're a chubby chick. What's important here are the blogs and the stories... the rest will come, as Kevin Costner knew before his career 'danced w/ sharks'. I don't know if that makes sense or if it's funny. Chalk it up to verbal experimentation.

To be honest, it's a relief. I think I've been so focused on the need for success that I've been stressing myself out about everything. Not only am I not having fun, I'm getting in my own way of attracting what I want because I'm surrounded by a big ball of negativity (i.e. stress). I noticed the other day how angry I was when I cussed out the slow-going, blue-haired driver in front of me in a string of expletives that would have embarrassed, um, someone who cusses a whole hell of a lot. Can't think of anyone at the moment. Was going to say Hitler - but although he was a genocidal killer, he may have had lovely manners. Who knows.

So obviously I was projecting and have some pent up emotion so my goal right now is to do everything with ease and joy... no matter what it is. And you know, it's really silly to get worked up about anything... when ultimately who we are in the now is ok, is loved and lovable, and worthy and all that, no matter what we do or don't do in our lives. We're the one's judging and comparing ourselves. If we all stopped doing it, maybe others would too, so I'm getting off the wheel. Americans are crazy. We are. Achieve and Acquire, that's all we care about. Well I'm over it. And the first step to changing that is admitting it! So what next? Find bloggers. And then I'm taking a page from my gamer bf's book and going home and Raiding some Tombs as every man/woman's fantasy, Lara Croft.

I realized I forgot to mention the wonderful person I met last week at the Adalente Film Forum in San Antonio - Chachi Senior with City Lights Media Group. He's a super clever individual with a lot of experience in web development. He took a liking to Blog4Reel and offered to help out if he could. Who knows where it will lead but he was a pleasure to talk to. It made me hyper-aware of what I'm missing out on in San Antonio. I love this city but let's face it.. those of you who live here know what I'm talking about.. when it comes to being serious about film, SA is not the place to be, but still.. I have hope! On a side note, I pitched my brilliant new vampire script premise to him and he seemed to quite like it. I still can't believe I told him! You'll understand what I mean by that someday.

Runaway Trains

Sometimes you wonder how life just got so off track. But perhaps it's on track, right on time, just not the time you wanted, the time you expected. Whoever thought I would end up in Texas - land of armadillos, cactus, and cowboys? Whoever thought my delicate Washington skin would be sweltering in 100-degree heat all summer long. Not me. Definitely not me. Yet here I am. A million roads not taken, why this one? Is it anything special or is just day to day to day. Morning Noon Night. Sleep then Wake then Sleep. Although insomnia makes that one a bit difficult. My 87-year-old gma got rushed to the emergency room last night. I wondered if it was the end. There's no doubt she wishes it was. But they found nothing wrong. Which is good for us that love her but not so good for her, I think. She's ready to move on, has been for years, probably since my grandpa died b4 I was born. But she's cursed to be strong as an ox. I have this ability to put myself in other people's skin and her skin scares me. It scares me because I don't want to get to a point where my life does not bring me joy and it seems I laugh less lately. This is no one's fault of course. It's mine. I try so hard; I stress too much and time passes and what of it? I believe the only purpose of life is to be joyful, but I am surely not practicing what I preach. And I think that needs to change. But how do you stop a runaway train? How do you jump tracks mid-stream?

I guess it's time I put my neon-pink labcoat on and get to work. I will figure this out although I think the most important thing for me to do right now is just stop. Stop and Breathe. Maybe it's just time to trust that everything's going to be okay; I don't have to control it all. I've never really done that.

If you wanna bake your noodle, check out this article sent to me by the Wonderful Tyler Rutherford (Blog4Reel's Lawyer) on time/space and the holographic universe. It goes to show you that anything really is possible and that is a very encouraging thought:

http://www.nature.com/news/2008/081110/full/news.2008.1217.html?s=news_rss

YAY!

Apples, Islam & Elections!

Well, it's finally here - the big election day for the States. I can't say it's been that exciting of a day for me but I'm very much looking forward to the results, as is the whole world, so it seems. I was just reading an article about world politics and how many nations are in support of Obama. If he wins, Kampala, for example, plans to march the streets in celebration and have a big party that lasts the whole night through. What can I say, we don't march in San Antonio, we eat enchiladas. We celebrate with saturated fats. That's our homage. But it won't be mine, unfortunately. I will be celebrating with lots and lots of apples and then maybe top that off with some deelish organic applesauce with cinnamon. No, I'm not crazy. I'm just on a ridiculous apple cleanse for the next three days. Blame Susan Seydler and Edgar Cayce.

I met with Joe, the actor from The Theory of Everything film, over the weekend. He's asked me to assist him in writing a short script he's wanting to produce.. I won't reveal too much except for that some of the characters are Muslim so I'm getting to research the Islamic beliefs, which is interesting, and frankly not that dissimilar from Christian origin, I think, but that's at first glance. I'll let you know what I discover.

So, I suppose you may be wondering what's going on with the sites. I've been busy looking for a web developer who can really take us to the next level. If you're out there, contact me at info@blog4reel.com. I strongly believe the universe will bring the right person to us. In fact, I'm talking to two gentleman who seem pretty interested and talented, so am very excited about that.

Also started sending out information on the competitions to colleges. The students are where it's at - creative, open minds... interesting lives and not afraid to tell it like it is. Where are all the vloggers? I hope vlog4reel is not ahead of its time. No matter. We will wait.

In good news, The Jade Channel's "Ennis Does Southtown" film won Best Comedy at the Sequin Film Festival recently. We're very excited about it. Ennis is going worldwide soon. Watch! We just shot our next episode, "Ennis Does Halloween" at Miss Alexis Meridian's Masquerade Ball in San Antonio which raised money for the SA AIDS Foundation and the Douglas Carter Scholarship Fund. It was an amazing experience. This pic is just a taste!

Vlog4Reel Launch Party Pics

ALL PICTURES COURTESY OF CHRIS SAUCEDO @ www.sauceyimages.com

ME, JADE ESTEBAN ESTRADA & NIKKI W/ PRIMA DONNA PRODUCTIONS

JADE ESTEBAN ESTRADA & ME

DJ REFRIED in BLUE

PAPA DEAN'S POPCORN

SAUCEY & MELISSA

MARI & JJ LOPEZ

SAUCEY & TURTLE


VICKY & KEN

JEREMY MARTIN & GF

AGOSTO SPINNING 45's

SUSAN & TOM

ME, JADE, AGOSTO & MARI

AGOSTO, MARI & I

SAUCEY HORDING THE CHIPOTLE

GMA, ME, JADE, AGOSTO, MARI & JJ LOPEZ

MARI LUVIN' ON THE PAPA DEAN'S CHILE LIMON

ME AND CATHERINE

AGOSTO & CATHERINE

Vlog4Reel Launch Party

It was kind of like Christmas... all this work.. all this preparation and in 10 minutes all the wrapping is ripped off and lying on the floor in a heap of red and silver, some of the gifts are already broken or lost and grandma's in the bathroom throwing up cause she drank too much eggnog. whatever. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was worth it. It's always a learning experience - I did some things well and others not so well, but all in all it was a great event. It was a smaller crowd than I would have liked but a really good crowd, good people who were there to support us. Every one seemed to have a good time and if we create a little buzz for the site(s) then I've done my job. But hell, it is a lot of damn work putting a party like that together.

Regardless of my nerves, I even had a good time. Once 7:00 hit and everything was ready there wasn't too much for me to do but to do what I love best and that's chit chat with everybody. And so I did. It was a pleasure to see so many of my friends come out to support me and even my family. That meant a lot. Especially cause I don't think they understand most of the crazy shiz that I do. Even some new people came, people who were interested in what we were doing and some local industry people showed up - Jeremy Martin with the Current (and his super sweet gf, sorry I forgot your name), Nikki Young w/ Prima Donna Productions as well as Drew Mayer-Oakes, the director of the SA Film Commission. That was a nice surprise.

Of course Jade Esteban Estrada was there to present our short film, now featured on Vlog4Reel.com, "Ennis Does Southtown". We premiered at the McAllen Film Festival to a very appreciative audience and will be in the Seguin Film Festival this weekend (at 9:00 a.m.), so we're excited about the headway it's making. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. No surprise there since Jade is a supa-star! So thanks to everyone for your support!

Special thanks to our sponsors: Plan B, J.J. Lopez, Chipotle, Skyy Vodka (even if you were over an hour late), Papa Dean's Popcorn (delicious!), Mr. Notebook, D.J. Refried (aka Agosto Cuellar of jiverefried.com).

And special special thanks to my helpers: Mari Salinas, Frank Rodriguez, Susan Seydler, Christopher Simmons, My Bunny Joshua Simmons, Chris Harris, Tom Trevino, and Roxy (my dog).

And how could I forget my most wonderful biz partner, Catherine Nored. You know none of this would be if not for you!

Featured above is a pic of myself, Jade, Nikki and Drew, courtesy of the amazing (and thanks to you to) Chris Saucedo @ www.sauceypics.com. He's awesome, in spirit and skill so check him out, folksies. More pics to come. Luv to y'all!

For more info on Ennis @ Seguin: http://www.seguinfestival.org/2008/EnnisDoesSouthtown.aspx

You'd better be there bitches!

Click on the image to make it bigger. We'll also be screening the short film, "Ennis Does Southtown" that evening featuring the extraordinary Jade Esteban Estrada! Not to be missed.

Celebrities

The thing with celebrities is that of course we’re not friends with them but you do know them. It’s a bizarre dichotomy, and it’s no wonder the people who need a little rewiring upstairs talk to celebrities like they’re their mother’s sister’s son’s mother-in-law or something. The reality shows I watch, I watch them because I feel like I know these people, and I do. Not very well, of course. Kind of like co-workers where you get snippets of their life but don’t really know the whole story. Maybe you stop to look at a picture on their desk of them with their friends on vacation in Maui, the one they have in that ugly metal frame they got from Tuesday Morning (you know this because they left the yellow ‘half price’ sticker on it and you can see it poking out).
In any case, when you’ve watched someone like Lauren (yes, the Hills again) since high school - now a successful business woman who gets to date really hot guys, you’re kind of curious where their story goes, even though it’s not really very exciting. The drama is lame and by lame I mean what are any of us doing spending our lives life this – them fighting over wisps of condensation and me at home watching it. I’d rather be in Costa Rica flying down a zip-line in the middle of a cloud forest. But I’m not. Maybe I should start watching that show – the one about the 2 guys who live with an aboriginal tribe … somewhere exotic. My friend Turtle (no not the guy from that crappy Entourage show) watches it. I’ll find out the name, for myself, not for you, non-existent but still creepy and phantom like audience (and Mari).

I had another not so existential crisis today dealing with this issue. In my desperate and random search to find a ‘celebrity’ judge to up our appealability to “News To Me” executive producers, (I luv u guys! And Grayson, you are the coolest dude I know!), I have set my sites on Bill Maher. I waffled over whether I should address him as Bill or Mr. Maher or perhaps just Mr. Bill. Nothing felt quite right. Because again on some level I feel like I know this guy and yet he doesn't know me from adam/atom.

But Bill, if you're reading this, I must have you! You should know that I am not one of those crazy people (see above) but I am a great admirer of yours. I marvel at how candid you are and logical, funny, and just plain real. Yours is the only politically-oriented show that I watch. It’s the only one I feel I need to watch. So yeah I’m a fan but here’s the thing - I think that what we’re wanting to achieve at Blog4Reel is something you can appreciate because it’s about people having a voice and sharing that voice and fuckall. I love that. There’s something very freeing about really saying whatever pops into your head, like I’m doing now. And Bill you do it best, and eloquently so. Blog4Reel would be a perfect project for you, another outlet to reach the masses with your message of common sense, I promise.

Magritte Said It Best

I just put this pic up on my Facebook. I got blocked from the ridiculous site for a week because I had a blog4reel poster up. And it's gotta be a personal one. So screw it. I know it's not very professional but then again, neither am I. I'm more about having fun and hector said it's a good pic. If you knew hector, that would make you proud. But I did want to specify, somewhere out here in cyberspace, that this is not a blunt. People who've seen the pic sometimes ask me that and it's not. But not in the same way as 'this is not a pipe'. No, not that cool at all. It's just a cuban cigar. I was in Mexico at the time, so it's legal. Just in case any feds are reading this. I think I've been watching Weeds too long. But man, that cuban was super strong. I'd never smoked a whole cigar before so that didn't help. I ended up taking stupid pictures of myself and this is one of them. Do I have a hawk nose? But hawks are clever, right?

My Dogders

Epiphany. of the small sort. I just realized that I love blog4reel like a dogder. I won't say a child because I have no idea what that's like. No doubt it's freaky. Not that the child itself is freaky (I mean no insult to the little ones) but the idea of being responsible for another soul brings out my neurotic side. I break out in hives and want to vomit. I mean it's just such a daunting task, I can barely handle the stress of having a dog. Thus the dogder, that's what Josh calls her - our Dogder, which is doubly cute because she has this face she makes when she gets her upper lip caught on her teeth that we call her 'der face'. So anyway, that whole last sentence is exactly why I should never be a parent. I'd be the freaky over-protective, obsessive mom.
I had to take Roxy to the vet today to get her rabies shot so she can go get her teeth done next week because those damn inbred chihuahua genes are causing her to have bad teeth or small dogs just have week teeth, I don't know, but she's going to start going to the dentist more than I do from now on. And I'll do this not because I'm a crazy dog person (which sadly yes I've become) but because even the thought of causing another living creature a second's pain is verboten (I hope I spelled that right) to me. I cried on and off the entire day last wed when I happened to notice that she's already lost a tooth. And I don't usually cry. But I was disgusted with myself because I should know better. I do know better but I've kind of been putting it off because I've heard horror stories about the dangers of putting little dogs under, which they have to do. Anyway, I messed up but it's so hard to see them suffer. I made Josh stay with Roxy when she got her shot today; I'm such a wuss. Whatever. If you can stand that, you're a hardened criminal and probably just got out of the pen or you have a damaged frontal lobe. Either way...

I just realized today how much I truly love Blog4Reel, in the same unhealthy way that I love Roxy, which is sweet but more scary. I think I've blocked my attachment to it in case it fails but you know what... even if it ends up being the weird little kid in school that hides in the back of the class and makes elephants out of tinfoil, I'll still love it.

These blogs are making me I feel like I'm being psychoanaylized - by myself. Is that even possible?

Maybe it's just all these electromagnetic waves.... think maybe it's time to get off the computer.

fare
the
well

Randomnessosity

I probably shouldn't admit this but I watch The Hills. I'm embarrassed by this fact. I definitely do not admire myself for it but I can't help it nonetheless. It's kind of like finding a beautiful beetle. My sophomore year in high school biology we had to do a bug box.. I forget what they're called but it was an entomology portion of the class and the random extra credit bug was found by me. Strangely, I'll never forget the moment it's metallic turquoise/goldish body, that resembled a badass chameleon paint job, lit up in the sunlight as it jumped from one pile of rocks over the little stream to another pile of rocks. It didn't have a prayer, what with my ninja-like butterfly net. It was mine and I loved it without even knowing that it was the extra credit bug. I'm pretty sure I got an A on my bug box because of it. Anyway, I guess I remember the whole thing because it was a moment when I clearly saw how life is about perspective. Up until that point I would have screamed and danced around the damn things, but once they became my objective I began to appreciate, even like, them. I guess I've learned to like some bugs (more than others (spiders!))because of that. I even like snakes now. Which is weird too, but that's a different story. So random thought. That just came to me out of nowhere. This is why I don't usually share my journal entries with people. They're strange and often make no sense to anyone but me... anyway, back to The Hills ...I loathe Spencer. I think that was my point. I'm disgusted by them but somehow fascinated at the same time. It's a strange paradox. But that's life. There you go.

If you haven't heard Greg Laswell. My God, get the CD.. buy it, download it.... whatever you have to do. Yes there are elements of other popular artists - ColdPlay - for example, but still. I've listened the the entire CD like 10 times today and I'm not bored yet. It's amazing. Speaking of Coldplay so is Viva La Vida. ADORE IT.

So many things to say, share, ponder, elucidate, explore but it's late. Sorry, I've been in word mode all day editing. Ugh. more later to all the folks that read this blog, Mari. :)

night. Night to you too, Beto.

We have a JUDGE!!! And he's Awesome!!!

For Immediate Release


Blog4Reel.com Announces Their First Judge

San Antonio, Texas (September 12, 2008) – Blog4Reel.com, the world’s first blog-to-film competition, is proud to announce its first judge, Joseph Harmes, who will help determine the competition winner.

A native of San Antonio, Texas, Joseph Harmes is a writer who, over the years (for Time, Newsweek, People and other publications), interviewed Mexican presidents and covered the country’s economic collapses, the World Cup and the 1985 earth-quake in Mexico City. When tour guides at the museum in Dolores Hidalgo brag that then-Vice President George H.W. Bush visited on September 15, 1981, Harmes likes to say, “I know, I was with him.” Reporting assignments took him to the civil wars in Central America and the Balkans and to the home of Elian González in Cuba. After Gabriel García Márquez won the Nobel Prize, Harmes was the only American journalist invited to his private fiesta. The author appeared as himself in the books “Desperados: Latin Drug Lords, U.S. Law-men and the War America Can’t Win,” “Salvador” and “The Border.” Prior to moving to San Miguel de Allende in 2002, Harmes served as Miami Bureau Chief for People magazine. “Joseph is one of those people who always sees outside the box. Joseph’s immense experience as a writer and working for national publications makes his professional perspective highly valuable on our panel. He is an integral component to making this competition a fun outlet for similarly creative minds,” says Co-Creator Catherine Nored.

Blog4Reel is based in San Antonio and owned by people who have a shared love of film, words, art and innovation. Nored and Suta, who debuted their first film, The Theory of Everything, in 2007 at the San Antonio Underground Film Festival, created Blog4Reel with the hope and intention of participating in the rapidly changing internet and modern cinema. One of their goals is to prove you don’t have to live in Hollywood; the thing that energizes a grass roots competition like Blog4Reel is that it’s universal and it doesn’t matter where you live.

Updates

So where am I? I guess I need to update y'all on everything since the Miss Latina Pageant. I am happy to say that my favorite, Miss Mexico won the pageant. You can see her here with Jade Esteban Estrada, and Dawn, the event director. The other pic includes Sonny Sauceda, a Grammy-winning musician. He was a really great guy and interested in film. We'll find a place for you somewhere, Sunny! I didn't really know what to expect but I was not disappointed. It was a warm summer evening and we got to watch these beautiful woman parade around in their finest attire and tell us what made them the perfect candidate for Miss Latina. I had a hard time judging the ones that didn't speak any English, which i felt bad about. I was the only non spanish speaking judge. I could catch stray words.. familia, bien, and such but had no idea what they meant strung together with the majority of words I didn't know. Although Miss Mexico wasn't as overtly stunning as some of them on first impression, she won me over at the end when she spoke on how proud she was being a woman in these pivotal, changing times. I think she will represent herself well for her culture, being that she seemed very well-rounded, articulate and confident. Jade was good about giving us direction... what to do and when to do it, although he forgot to mention not to stand until the end of our introduction until it was too late.. leaving me to stand and wave awkwardly at the crowd. We also got to see a live performance by Valeria, a local talent which included my favorite: B-boy dancers! Raul was the best. I could watch those boys trip the light fantastic all night long. Must have been a dancer myself in another life.. but definitely not this one! Afterwards we went up to congratulate Miss Mexico. I extended my hand to her and she was like, "No, you guys get hugs!" And proceeded to give me a big one, which I thought was very sweet. Good Luck to you, Miss Mexico! And why, you ask, do I keep calling her Miss Mexico? Because I don't remember her real name. Sorry, MM.

In other news, working on finding a celeb judge for the sites. I will, dammit, I will. Have calls into some pretty big names.. might as well shoot for the stars, eh? Also working on the Vlog4Reel launch party flyer, etc., which will be Oct. 17th in San Antonio. If you're anywhere close, mark it on your calender!

Tonight filming an episode of ProSpectives. Jade is gone to Mexico for a few days so no progress on Ennis.. Speaking of which I'll have to tell you later about the psychics. More on that later.. gotta run!

Psychics and the Beauty Pagent

So this weekend should prove to be interesting. Jade and I are filming an episode of Ennis tomorrow. As it stands now our plan is "Ennis consults with psychics". I'm definitely going to try to find some hardcore Curanderas, if I'm spelling that correctly.. they're like Mexican witches or maybe that's too aggressive a word. Of course I don't mean witch like wart-addled hag or any such thing but these are the ladies to go see to ward off bad juju. They crack an egg over your head for good luck (seriously) and possibly even behead a chicken (I made that up). I'm not really sure as I've never been but I'm excited about it. It should be hilarious and maybe even illuminating.

As for the site issues we've been having because of (evil) Gate.com, Tony's making headway and one by one our issues are being resolved. Hall-lay-lu-yeah! I can't even tell you how much gray hair, wrinkles and assorted maladies I have suffered because of Gate, and I am happy we're almost completely over the dark night (month really) of the server migration.

As for our beloved "News To Me" - the latest is the piece on us is still planned but no air date is set because the Execs evidently have a hard-on for celeb interviews at the moment. Let's face it, who doesn't? We're still putting effort into finding some great judges for the competition which we'll soon be announcing but sadly Brad Pitt and George Clooney have not yet returned my calls...

Saw Zombies yesterday. Random thought. It's strange seeing zombies walk down your street. We were at a bar celebrating a friend's b-day when 3 guys dressed like zombies walked by.. evidently for some film or such. I was a zombie for Halloween several years ago. I went with my crazy friend Hector to all the delicious gay bars in Austin. Of course torrential rain came and my blood (fake of course) ran all over.. I was soaked and discolored but that didn't stop us from dancing the night away until the clothes were dryish.

Oh and Monday should be interesting. Jade got me a gig as a Judge for The Miss Latina World pageant. I asked Jade if I needed any experience/credentials for it and he told me all I need to do is 'judge people'. I told him I had no problem with that. :) The irony is I've been worried about being judged as the judge. I'm not Latina first of all. And I'm not high fashion, I've never had anything to do with a beauty pageant before in my life. I worried more. So I asked my close friend Turtle her advice. And she said, "you're a filmmaker - simple as that, you have an artistic eye." I thought about this. And I realized that I am able to see the beauty in all things, sometimes when the beauty isn't so obvious. I look for a beauty which extends beyond just the physical. I always try to see the truth of someone, their heart, if you will. So I guess that's not so bad. Hopefully I can bring a unique eye to the pageant. If nothing else, at least it's an excuse to get my nails done and put on a pretty dress, something I rarely do. Mari, who gives me a hard time for my cargo pants and t-shirts, will appreciate this! Wish the girls luck!

Hope y'all have a splendiferous weekend!

Haiku is Ku

So I was inspired by Zen Master Alan Watts to write a Haiku on my way to the office one recent morning. Although found out later I got my syllables wrong. Oh, well. I still like it. I guess we'll call it a faux Haiku.

A Reminder

Even trash abandoned
Waves gleefully to passersbys
On furious roads

by Kimberly A. Suta
July 18, 2008

Then Catherine (my awesome Blog4Reel/Vlog4Reel partner) got me this hilarious ZOMBIE HAIKU book for my birthday. I'll share one for your edification, if indeed we can call it that, maybe more for your amusement...

You are so lucky
that I cannot remember
how to use doorknobs.

- Ryan Mecum

Waiting for the Other Shoe to HIT ME IN THE HEAD!

So for all my (one) reader(s) out there... you may recall that last week was one big pile of steaming camel dung. This week, well, I guess it's fair to say that it's better. The sites are still having the same issues, but my birthday was on Tuesday and no one is allowed to have a bad birthday week. It was a fun day. I took the day off to reset myself and find a modicum of joy. We had intended to go to SeaWorld for the day, but it rained. I can't say I was surprised. But we made the best of it and went and saw Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D, which is just awesome. There's something about 3D movies that bring out the kid in me, which really isn't buried that deep to begin with. It's a fun movie and I highly recommend it as a good little summer flick, much better than the 3rd Mummy movie. I imagine Brendan Fraiser had a much better time with this one, based solely on the lead actresses. I did not care for the Rachel Weisz replacement in The Mummy at all. She was lame and lackluster and had absolutely no chemistry with the adorable Brendan. I'm sure Brendan had to conjer up Rachel every time he had to kiss her poor-man's doppleganger.

After the movie we met friends at Dave and Buster's for food and games. Mari, who you may know from ProSpectives, doesn't understand why we like these silly games but I'll play just about anything. I just wish the arcades here were better. Dave n Busters used to be top-notch but they seem to have gotten rid of a lot of their games or they were broken. Still, it was a great evening and I appreciate all my wonderful friends for making it so!

I've been thinking the last few days about this Zen Master, Alan Watts. He is truly amazing. I had been listening to one of his books on tape - The art of controlled accidents, I think it was called. In it he talks about a Zen Monk who while training a Zen student, he'll sneak up on them, at any time, and hit them, startle them, essentially push them to the point where they realize there is no point to anticipating the Master, or preparing for the onslaught since it can come at any time from anywhere. Kind of like life and all its myriad disasters (i.e. gate.com). So what's the point of getting worked up and frazzled and caught up in negative expectations? Whatever's going to happen is going to happen and there is no preparation, there's just floating along the flow and hoping the universe throws you a raft when the rapids get too crazy.

Double Eclipse

You may be wondering, like me, how life can so quickly spiral out of control. One minute you're sailing along oblivious, enjoying life, or at least trying to and the next you crash into a wall. Me? I didn't crash, exactly but my websites did. And then our washer and dryer broke. And then my car broke. And then my sites were up. then down. then up. then down. Until I became dizzy with the disarray. Sometimes these things are easier to handle than others. But when you're not feeling emotionally and physically at your best, crashing into these walls leaves you wondering what's the point of getting up. I must admit I've had my little fantasies this week of running away to Mexico, of leaving it all behind. Working day and night for over a year on something that can just disappear at whim, at someone else's whim, be it the universe's, my sucky web host company's(GATE.COM), it doesn't matter. It's a whim that isn't mine and I don't like it. It's not fair. I know, I know.. every time I say that I hear a voice that rings audibly, "LIFE IS NOT FAIR." But it should be. In my world, the world I envision, life is fair.. people that put the best out there get the best back - people with good intentions, who are loving and kind and try try try to do things right don't have to suffer failing websites! And their dogs live forever, without cloning too. But this is not the world we live in, I'm afraid, at least not for now. In the midst of this, I was supposed to water my friend's plants while she's away on vacation. I remembered late and then when I went to her house I couldn't find the key she left out for me. I imagined the plants, wilting miserably, calling out to me, even begging for that cool liquid relief that I could not give them. I felt horrible. I called her to find out where the stupid key was and she didn't answer. But she called me back today. I tell her it's been a shitty week and then she explains the two eclipses - the solar eclipse and the lunar eclipse that we are experiencing this month is the cause of all the disaster. Two Eclipses creating so much chaos. I'm relieved, I guess, a little. But the sites are still having issues. I'm on my millionth call hold right now with the evil GATE, on hold for hours and hours and hours because their tech support sucks. I will make it my life's mission to make sure y'all know just how much. And so I'm writing to explain to you how precarious life can be, how easily influenced, if not by ourselves, by the winking of a sun and moon. And so here we are... I hope yours is going better than mine...

Holding Patterns & First Friday Festivities

For those of you Blog4Reel/Vlog4Reel enthusiasts, you may have noticed that the sites are experiencing 'difficulties' - as they say, when they don't want to say what's really going one.. one big massive cluster**ck! The sites were supposed to have been transitioned onto new servers last tues. by our host, Gate.com. The transition was supposed to have taken 10 hours. Almost 200 hours later, they're still messed up. I imagine this kind of disruption isn't good for any website but when you're a fledgling company slowly building it's way up, it's even more detrimental. Or is it? I refuse to expect that. The good news is that the CNN News To Me piece is in the works but has not been scheduled. So we have time. And we will be back up before then, I promise. I've been talking to my tech guru and we're seriously considering moving to a new company by the end of the week if things have not been resolved. So we'll see what happens. All I can really do right now is
B-R-E-A-T-H-E!

In more exciting news, Jade Esteban Estrada and I taped an Ennis P. Vlog of Friday Friday - San Antonio's Arts District's big Art/Food/Fun Walk every first friday. We had such a blast! I met so many cool people - people with bright red Mohawks, big dazzling light sabers, yummy gorditas, rose-smelling palm fronds. All out to have a good time, which is how SA does it.. we're all about the partying here. It's been a while since I've gone to one. I've been in the neighborhood so long that eventually you get tired of it, bored. But it was really cool to be able to experience it again, from a fresh perspective, a gay lactose-intolerant, vegetarian cowboy perspective! The real feather in our cap was an interview with one of San Antonio's most famous Hollywood actors, Jesse Borrego (who was in Fame). He was fun and upbeat and so generous to give us some of his time. He happened to be doing a fundraiser that night for CineStudios (a new non-profit he's starting to help give kids an opportunity to get involved with film), so it was a very serendipitous experience for us. (The pic shown here is from Season 3 of "24")

One of my favorite interviews of the night was with this little boy who's an "Indigo Child" - children who are born super aware and very gifted. He can see auras and spirit animals, energies and such. He was sweet enough to tell me that my spirit animals are a Hawk and a Deer and my bf has a lizard! Good to know there's something out there helping me along! I could definitely use it. Maybe I can send my Hawk out to put some pressure on Gate. Hmmm...

Jade at Open Mic Night

Talk about a character - here's Jade during a break from Open Mic night last Thursday... we had such a blast!

Art of Fashion in S.A. 2008

I got to film Agosto Cuellar's Fashion Show last weekend - probably San Antonio's biggest fashion event of the year. Everything was beautiful, especially Agosto's. I'll see if Agosto's gonna post the footage or perhaps I can give you a little peeky. This pic is after the show with Agosto and Mari - who helped run the show behind the scenes. You might recognize Mari from our ProSpectives show on Vlog4Reel.com. This girl is a character. I love her!

Elephump

I painted this picture a few months ago in honor of the amazing creature that is Elephant. A friend sent me a link (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5435466&page=1) to this article today on Elephants - evidently they now believe Elephants can suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, just like us humans. What a notion, huh, that a creature who's seen its mother shot and killed by poachers, nearly starved to death and/or been tortured for years in various unhealthy environments such as zoos and circus' might actually experience trauma?

Are we so self-absorbed that we can't see how we affect other lives on this planet? I've always been particularly fascinated and drawn to elephants - such beautiful, wise animals, probably more so than the typical jack-ass that cuts you off in traffic. Wanna help out, you can donate to this Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee:
http://www.elephants.com/

Let's start one here in Texas! Anyone game???

Fools4Real

It's been an interesting week for me... I'm guessing the universe wanted me to get some practice making a fool of myself in public since it happened twice this week! The nature of launching a business like Blog4Reel and Vlog4Reel that requires the interest of the public at large means not only do I have to put what I'm doing out there but myself as well. Yay.

Although many moons ago in H.S. I enjoyed drama very much and was even pretty decent, if I do say so myself, I found a more comfortable fit for myself writing, producing... always behind the scenes. A lot of people think writers are trolls. Not true. We just wish we were. If I had my own bridge with a computer and a nice little fire pit, I'd be a happy camper.

Well no more! No, I must stand in the glaring sun of other people's judgment, criticism, and if I'm lucky some small manner of admiration or at least appreciation. This week I was asked to sit on a panel for the San Antonio Film Commission. I was very honored to do so, of course. The problem was there seems to have been a miscommunication between the Commission and the Host - who kept asking me questions about Blog4Reel that really weren't relevant to the Topic: Promoting your film locally. I came prepared to talk about my short film we premiered last year, The Theory of Everything. I got so discombobulated that at the end when she asked me where people could find my movie, I couldn't even remember to tell them it's on Vlog4Reel. It's on Vlog4Reel, dammit! I mentioned my MySpace page and then couldn't even remember the URL for it.. granted for Blog4Reel I have about 100 such pages.. I have URL's & passwords coming out my arse, as the Scottish so eloquently put it. Regardless, it was embarrassing. I felt my face flush red and wished I could twinkle my nose and vanish into thin air but alas... The one uplifting moment was when this little girl who'd been dragged there by her actor father said that I was "the most interesting one out of all of them." She was sweet and sincere and as my friend said later, Kids don't lie.

Then last night I went to go check out Jade at his Open Mic night at Sam's Spot in San Antone and he called me up in front of the crowd to talk about my film and Blog4Reel. Granted it was a small crowd but I could feel my nerves buzzing as I stood there in front of the hot white lights covered in my chihuahua's hair (which gets everywhere). I was not prepared. And maybe that's ok. The world did not come to a crashing end, I did not die and nobody pointed a finger and laughed. I've been listening, in my car, to this really cool zen artist Alan Watts. He talked about the art of spontenaity and maybe that's what I'm supposed to be getting out of this.. to enjoy such things, go with the flow, be in the moment, blah blah... but I am a novice spontenaitor and therefore fell on my face. Hopefully next time I'll do better. Hopefully. Either way, you'll be sure to find out!

If you wanna hear the infamous panel discussion, check out the podcast on the San Antonio's Film Commission site (it's the July panel discussion) -

http://safilmforum.blogspot.com/2007/08/now-on-splashcast.html

If you'd like to see me looking flustered and also see some pretty funny stuff from Jade and others, I'll put up a link once the video's posted.

Hope y'all have a beautiful weekend. We plan to see Batman, finally. Have you seen it? Did you love it? Also taping an episode of ProSpectives for our Vlog4Reel Channel. Should be fun to be with my peeps again! We're gonna get crazy, ya know, with Brunch on Sunday!

"Deep Thoughts" Revisted #2

"I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad." - Jack Handy

In today's political climate, that poor robot would probably be tasered, bombed, burned and completely incinerated. After the New Yorker's tasteless cover of Obama & his wife as terrorists, there's no telling what people are capable of... I, for one, would hug the robot and let it know it's all okay. After all we have to start somewhere and I do like robots... robot chicken, Bender, K-9 from Dr. Who.

No Cheeseburger in My Paradise

So so so much going on. Where to begin. Well I guess the best news is we taped the footage for the CNN bit last week and overall it went well although I was a little disappointed with my performance. I wasn't nervous exactly. I think the problem was I had so much to say and I couldn't remember all of it - the second the camera went on I forgot everything. I guess it's the idea of all those eyes on me.. like the camera's big EYE represents every eye in the world and well, since I can't imagine the camera naked I had nothing to shake me out of it. So I used cue cards and that was challenging. I'm praying it's useable, but if not I'm totally down for a reshoot although I'll be lucky to get my hair to look like that again. Lisa Weller, amazing stylist, did my hair and I don't know what she did but for a day I had celebrity hair. I felt like cinderella. But the second I washed it, poof, my chariot turned right back into a pumpkin and the starlit was gone. Se la vie.
So I've sent out the press release to all the major and local media and I got a call today from a guy I've never even heard of from a company that doesn't even show up when I google - and he critisized me for sending out info on it when it's so new (no one's using it yet). I'd like to know how you get people on if no one knows about it. I think people in the industry are so used to pretending their one thing when they're another. I'm not ashamed of the fact that we're new, that we're grassroots. I think it gives us an edge because we're fresh and we're honest and we are what we are and we're not afraid of that. I refuse to live in a world anymore where I have to hide any part of myself and no one should. We should all be loving and appreciative of our differences and our uniqueness. That's what keeps it all interesting. Viva la Liberty!

So I'm really excited about where we're going with both Blog4Reel and Vlog4Reel. I think the News To Me show will catapult us into the public eye which is what we need and the rest is up to you, the viewer, the artists, the eyes of the web. All we can do is create and hope you like what you see. Of course we are always up for suggestions. Tonight we're having a ProSpectives meeting for our next episode. Has anyone watched it yet? I think Tom's edits/drawings are brilliant and make me laugh.

The only blah part of my life right now is my difficult tummy. I had an "attack" Friday night. I thought it was food poisoning. My nutritionist thinks it's my gallbladder, my healer friend thinks I might have an ulcer.. so I don't know what to think. Either way I'm cutting WAY back .. only eating clean foods and attempting to be Postive about the whole thing. NO STRESS = SUCCESS! I believe that. Getting to that peaceful happy placing and Staying there is the hard part in our society. But I will perservere, GD!

Deep Thoughts Revisted

Remember Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey on Sat. Night Live? They were one of my absolute favorite things they ever did. So a while back I went through an old box of stuff I'd had shipped from WA - my old stomping grounds, and found a book of Deep Thoughts. So for your amusement and mine....

DEEP THOUGHT by Jack Handy:

"Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags."

Updates & Holiday Slack

So I've been horribly inconsistent with the blogging thing again - blame it on the new site VLOG4REEL (yay!). We've been working hard on getting some content up for the VlogStar Channels. I've been working with Comedian Jade Esteban Estrada - who just MC'd the GLAAD Awards on TV - very cool. He's absolutely one of my favorite comedians - he can tell a joke with just his facial expressions alone. I feel so honored that he's agreed to do some stuff for Vlog4Reel. I met Jade through another one of our VlogStars - Eric Fonseca. See no one thinks we have cool stuff in San Antonio but we've just been hiding under the radar... but no longer!

Also we've been doing a lot with the ProSpectives - which is still something we're working on defining - it's kind of a talkshow but then it's kinda just us gals sitting around bullshitting... for the moment we're sort of letting it be organic and define itself through the process. Amazing editor Tom Trevino's on board and I think with his energy and creative input we're gonna have some interesting episodes. The one we shot this last week we decided to dress up in 60's style so we raided Jive Refried's closet and found some hideous dresses to wear. It was a blast although I think the getups threw off our normal synergy but that's ok. Hopefully Tom will come up with some funny shiz to spice it up! Mari, Susan & Tom have been so much fun to work with. I'm excited to see where we go with it.

I just sent out the first press release for Vlog4Reel and we have another surprise coming soon that will be announced on CNN's "News To Me!" I'll let you know when we have a date. Biggest challenge I have now is getting the word out on this shoestring budget and having the time to do it. With both sites & a regular job I've been putting in 12 - 14 hour days (including weekends). But I love it so it's not a complaint.. just a little tired. I got a good nights sleep though last night so gearing up for a productive week.

My bf's dad's in town from GA this weeekend for the holiday. Just got done making the world's BEST potato salad. Yummy. We're grilling and the boyz are playing video games (surprise surprise)! I plan to takeover at some point and catch up on Mario Galaxy - which is just like the most fun video game ever!

So as it's almost time for dinner I'm gonna take off but leave you with well wishes for everyone's 4th Weekend! I didn't do much yesterday but got to see fireworks from my balcony. I soooo LOVE fireworks!!! The best show I ever saw was on the Pier in San Francisco... some big show they do every year where they introduce the latest in pyrotechnics (is that the right word). I'll never forget it... the crowd was huge and vibrant and noisy but once the fireworks started everyone was silent, mouth open in awe. My friend, Weiner, said it was like an orgasm for the eyes. And oh, yes, it was!

There Will Be Suckage

I don't care what anyone says; I don't care that it has an 8.4 rating on IMDB, There Will Be Blood is one of the worst movies I've seen as a long time. Some quotes off of user comments on IMDB from someone who likes the film are:

- "It is a powerful and emotionally draining experience."
- "There Will Be Blood will leave audiences feeling exhausted and with a bitter taste in their mouths."

Call me crazy but that just does NOT describe a good film to me, accurate as it is. Frankly it's discouraging, as a filmmaker/writer that THIS is what people/critics like. The fact that I don't get it though is a relief. I don't want to relate, understand or appreciate a film like this. I don't want to be on the same page as it. Maybe I can't "see" it clearly but that's because it's so dark as to be unrecognizable. And I'm perfectly happy leave it there in the dark, where it belongs.

Has this Happened to You?

I just had to stop and express my joy from the new Coldplay CD, Viva la Vida. I love it when you're listening to a new CD and you're chillin', lying on the bed taking it in, then sitting at the computer writing, whatever. Maybe it's been a while since you've allowed yourself to feel much of anything but the music overwhelms you, it seeps into you. You can't help but stop and listen and then you understand the songs are speaking to you (especially LOST & Viva La Vida), like a long song sermon of love from the universe and it's really like it was written just for you, just for this moment... the music moving in sync with the waves of emotion you're experiencing. And then you're crying, then laughing... It's only happened to me a few times. But when it does, it's hard not to believe there's something more than just the physical, there's something more to us than what we see. I feel so connected and loved and loving and like everyone of us is ok or will be ok... at least eventually. You know some of us are slow learners. :)

Anyway, I do believe that things/people/whathaveyou come along at various times in our lives (a lot of times it's books for me) and I think they are messages from our higher selves/the great spaghetti monster in the sky/whathaveyou but man, when it's something as beautiful as Chris Martin's voice singing to you, articulating exactly how you're feeling at that very moment, it's like being inside Sacre Coeur, the most amazing church that sits at the highest point in Paris, or whathaveyou.

Just thought I'd mention it.

Btw, there's a pretty decent article on Martin in this month's Rolling Stones.

Have you checked out vlog4reel yet?

Item# 5,343,590 - VLOG4REEL!!!

Sometimes life seems little more than a series of adding and deleting things from one Gia-Normous TO DO list.

All I do is make to do lists... I have one for work, one for my personal life, one for Blog4Reel and now one for.... (DRUM ROLL PLEASE) VLOG4REEL.COM! Yes, it's true.. we were having so much fun with Blog4Reel that we decided it needed a sister. Actually though so many people's blogs are already Vlogs and it seemed a natural evolution to add a vlog competition. We'd been talking about it for forever and it just seemed the right time to make it happen. So if you get a chance, please Check it Out!

I know I have failed in my attempt to blog every day. Bah. I wanted to.. I blog in my head but then life has its way with me. I was sick for a week, as you know, and then the bf was sick for a week (yes, my fault)... limiting my access to the computer at home, which is when I usually blog. On top of that I've been mad busy trying to get all the little details in order for Vlog4Reel to go live. It's just the way it is. If we had 48 hours a day .. it might happen.. or I might commit seppuku out of sheer exhaustion. Who wouldn't? Instead I have to accept that I can only do what I can do. I mean does it really really matter anyway if we can or can't do anything? I don't really really think it does. Do the best you can and relax. That's all I'm committing to doing these days.

Do I sound drab? This post is a little blah but probably because I'm trying to do a fast post. I'll write more later when I have time to muse and meander. But I just wanted you to know!

HA!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to Work We Go!

Spent the day working on a video for a contest. I'll let you know more once it's up. Was fun except for working outside in the 100 degree heat. This is going to be a busy busy week. Have tons of editing to do on the new B4R thing and also have a press release to work on, just for starters. Not to mention catching up on all the crap that piled up from being sick last week. Ugh.



$$$Prosperity Game - $2,187,000 - Day 7$$$

Because One House isn't enough... I found a gorgeous gorgeous place in the French Country, not to far from the Riviera. It's so warm and inviting. This is a dream house 4 sure. Check it out and imagine.........

http://www.french-property.com/vp/nv/ds/midi-pyrenees-gers-mirande-residential/id/107381/

CHANGE to be FOUND...

Change is on the wind, you see. I can smell it in the rain. I have friends, not prophets, predicting the end of the world. The OIL will be the end of us, they say. Ironic if so since it is LITERALLy the END for all creatures... liquid creation. LIQUID devastation.
I feel a story brewing, working it's way up from the core through the cracks of consciousness. I feel it. Can you feel it? It's in the music. It's on the TV. I want to dance like we did in 1999 to Prince at the club (what was the name of that club???) with my best CuZiN & best friend, dance like you are free and young and there is no tomorrow. Just the end of the world (as you know it). I guess everyday is like that, but it doesn't feel like it sometimes - it feels like a clock turning endlessly endlessly on the dial. The same numbers, the same cadence. Just the Same Same Same.

And all I want is Change.

$$$Prosperity GAME - $729,000 - Day 6$$$

A house A house A house!

This may seem like a lot of money for a house but not in the lovely neighborhood that I live and rent in - Alamo Heights in San Antonio. This will probably afford me a nice modest 3-bedroom house. I want a garden full of veggies and herbs and berries. I want a pretty yard my little ChiWA can run around in. And I want a Pool so I can swim every morning in the moist air. I want, at last, a place to call my own. I've been moving around my entire life... not living in one place for more than a few years at a time. If I add it up.. wait.. let me do the math.. I've lived in.. shit.. I can't even remember but I've stopped somewhere around 20.

Beyond the Fog

I'm starting to come out of my Sicky Haze. Finally. It's still mind-boggling to me the things our bodies can do. No I won't go into detail as I don't wish to disgust anybody. Or do I...? Well anyway,I was blog searching today - looking for bloggers to tell them about us and ran across an interesting one, at least for me. It's not really B4R material but if you like Whales/Seals, it has some cool photos.
Check it out:

http://sfbaywhalewatching.blogspot.com/

I'm going to try to buckle down and work on a media kit this weekend with the help of my cousin-in-law who works for a major advertising agency. I have some experience with this but it's been so long it will be good to get some advice from someone who is current with all of the ins and outs of the ad world. It's ridiculous to me.. all the lingo. It's just like any particular industry. They keep out the "laypeople" by using language that makes no sense. But once you learn it it's pretty easy. All the online specs gets pretty confusing for me but am sure I'll manage.

By the way, I'm looking for video content at the moment.. if anyone has anything good, let me know!

$$$Prosperity Game - $243,000$$$

This game is definitely getting fun. Finally getting into some $ I can do something with! Woohoo!

$43,000 - Travel to Europe - Greece (pic is of Santorini), Britain & prolly a little stop-over in Amsterdam. Let's face it to have a first class trip overseas nowadays is gonna cost an arm and a leg with the current exchange rate. I went there in 2003 on a very frugal budget and still spent $5,000. I want to travel in style for a change and see how the other half lives. Rent a villa in Greece, see all the sites in GB and party like a rockstar in Amsterdam.

$50,000 - shopping spree - clothes, jewelry and shoes, shoes, shoes!

$150,000 - WON WORLD - to counteract my indulgences, I want to start a non-profit company whose mission it is to disseminate TRUTH - information on health & the environment in particular. This is pretty much just start-up money and will require further investment. I imagine we'll need to do primary research since I think a big problem with most information we get today is that it's biased. It would be nice to have a group that's sole goal is THE TRUTH. I don't know about you but I'm tired of sifting through half-truths on the news, internet etc., and trying to base a rational opinion on that information. How nice would it be to have a source that you know is accurate and trustworthy? Or... even better... imagine a world where everything you see, read, hear is the truth.. no lies, no evasions.. nothing to hide. But we gotta start somewhere!

Sicky 4 Real!

I hate being sick. It's depressing. It's like I'm unable to remember a time when I wasn't it so overwhelms and absorbs me. It's hard not to be with Phlegm being a constant reminder. At least I finally slept for a couple of hours today, mouth open, drooling. I woke up in a pile of it, wet and cold on my cheek. Although it would seem you have all the free time in the world when your sick you don't have the energy or inclination to do anything but... be... sick. I find myself sitting and staring at nothing in particular, like I'm some old senile woman waiting for the wind to carry me home. I know I'm dramatic. It's a built-in mechanism that I have no control over at this point. I'm probably thinking on death a little because I watched "The Savages" tonight.. a pretty good movie with Phillip Seymour Hoffman (one of my favs) and Laura Linney about these two siblings and their dying estranged father. It brought up old familiar and heartbreaking memories of my mom in the nursing home. She was there for 10 years (I was 15) before she died. Horrible places, nursing homes. I hope never never to step foot in one again. But that's a long story and I'm tired.

$$$Prosperity Game - $81,000$$$

Well, I would buy a new body right now if I could be considering that's probably improbable and even if I could it would cost a whole helluva lot more than $81,000, I think what I will do with this money is invest it into Blog4Reel as a necessary but loathsome marketing budget.. print ads, online ads, maybe even a billboard or two. I'm sure it won't buy much on a national level but it's a start!

Sicky Blog

You know what I like Best about Blog4Reel.com - it's reading other people's blogs or inspiring other people to blog. It's like this never-ending train of Creation... and it keeps going and gets passed along and keeps going and the ideas and the stories are like little nuggets of joy. I love them!

Feeling a little under the weather today - head cold or allergies. I hate coughing and hacking and sneezing and well just plain breathing when I don't feel good. I'm a baby. But I'm still working & Blogging! Yay me!

So.... $$$Prosperity Game - Day 4 - 27,000$$$

I've been waiting for this one! Woohoo...!!!

$20,000 - A NEW SCION XB. I love them. They're adorable, reliable and get pretty good gas mileage.

$4,000 - Pay off the old car and donate it or give it away.

$3,000 - Buy my BF a Scooter. For the moment his only vehicle is a mountain bike. And I know he's been wanting a scooter for a while!

$$$Prosperity Game - Day 3 - $9,000$$$

By the way, I guess I should clarify that I didn't mean to multiply times 3 each day but to triple each day, if that makes any sense. Whatever, it's my own math.

This one's an easy one - $9,000 clams straight to the IRS - cha-ching! You're welcome Uncle Sam! Please don't spend my money on War, Subsidies to the Oil Companies or Walmart, and I'll be satisfied!

But I won't hold my breath.

I Suck, Part 2

Ok so this has been a good learning exercise. I am, evidently, highly undisciplined. Seems I can't even get through 3 straight days of blogging. But as mentioned previously, I will keep trying till I get this right! I am proud to say I've been a little more disciplined with the WiiFit - which is a blast and actually pretty good exercise if you put in the effort. I am quite fond of the balance games - slollum skiing is a blast!

Well we are 2 weeks away from announcing the "addition" to the blog4reel site. Very exciting! I'll be working on some video this week with one of my favorite comedians, Jade Estrada, whose music video I posted earlier. He's hilarious and I can't wait to see what new material he comes up with.

Went and saw the new Indy movie over the weekend. What can I say but, as fan of the trilogy (minus #2), I was sorely disappointed. I mean Harrison is still gorgeous, even at 80 (jk) but let's face it... Lucas shouldn't have been allowed to touch this project. He's frakked up every movie he's created since 1984. Sad. But still, don't mess with my Indy, dammit! The writing was weak, the production values, which I expected to be through the roof, was also weak. And the ending.... come on! I mean seriously. I could have written a better premise in my sleep - in fact I often do. My dreams are more whack than a Stephen King/Joan Rivers love-child. I was going to say Hillary Clinton but I didn't want to piss anyone off. :) See, politically correct am I!

I Suck

Evidently I couldn't make it to day 3 of my blogging experiment. But as they say, you stumble, fall, land face first in the mud and then you pick yourself up again and move on. Perseverance is key. I believe that. In fact, sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going - knowing that eventually you will achieve your dreams if you never give up on them... it might take a while.. you may look like George Burns when it's all said and done but eventually IT WILL HAPPEN.

So onto the $$Prosperity Game, Day 2 - 3,000$$

$1,500 - 52 inch HDTV - for the bf, cause that's all I've been hearing about lately!
$1,500 - Armoire - Something for me!

Today in my BLOG4REEL world - we're picking out colors for the new addition to the site and it is harder than it looks! We've gone from something that looks like a circus to a baby Shower! As you can tell by my blog I am color-challenged! Ugh. But I'm sure we'll get there....

Because I'm Kooky!

So Experiment #2 I'm getting directly from the pages of the book, Ask & It Is Given - it's a book based on the law of attraction and GD I am going to give it an honest go! One of the "Games" it has for greasing that squeaky wheel is called the Prosperity Game.

Basically you get an "imagined" $1,000 a day. So by day 30, you get $30,000. The goal is to "spend" the money anyway you like each day and focus on what it is you really want (as opposed to what you don't want). The idea is by focusing on these things you will shift your energy about money and receiving. I'm going to do it for a month. And since you can play it anyway you like really I've decided to triple my money every day. You can write checks out for what you want - real or created - but I'm just going to keep a log on here. Let's see what happens! (I bet Oprah tried it!)

$$PROSPERITY GAME - Day #1 ($1,000)$$

$500 - Mic for my Camera & tripod
$60 - gorgeous black patent (yes, patent)leather & silver sandals I found
$200 - give to my friend to help out
$100 - have Roxy (my dog's) teeth cleaned
$140 - take my friends out for some grub - probably for seafood since we've been craving shrimpies.

As an aside - funniest phrase I heard today on LOST - "Time Traveling Bunnies" Yes!

The Curse of the Lemon Wedge

I was told today (don't ask me by who) about the Lemon Curse. Rachel Ray may have a different recipe, but basically you do the following:

- Find (steal) hair(s) from the one you despise
- Cut a lemon but not all the way through
- Insert hair
- Seal shut lemon with nails - nine I think it was.
- Make sure the lemon sits close to the one you loathe - evidently sending out its waves of malevolent intent.

Within seven days or so something terrible should befall your nemesis! How crazy is that?! I love it! If I didn't believe in Karma there's a few people I might actually consider trying this out on! :)